Monday, May 7, 2012

Back in the US of A.

I didn’t know if I would continue to blog after leaving South Africa. But here I am, still thinking about things I want to say. To share. So I guess until I run out of stories, I’ll keep writing. I actually don’t really know if anyone reads this but I also don’t know that it matters to me all that much.  I'll just keep posting anyway. :)

So I am back in America. Missing South Africa. Weird how that happens. I never thought I would have such a longing to be back there? To sleep in my little room with no running water. And take a taxi. Maybe eat some pap. And give my friends a hug. My first week back home was amazing. I was so happy to see everyone and it felt good to be back.  And of course the basic luxuries were really wonderful – long showers, being able to drive, ice machines, Starbucks, mindless TV whenever you want, iPhones (!)…and the “culture shock” that everyone had told me was going to be such a problem didn’t seem to be such a big deal? But then the second week came. And I started to feel funny. Sad. Lonely. Like I didn’t fit in? Is this what they were talking about?  It has also been harder since the initial “party week” ended because I don’t really have a place of my own, or a job, or my stuff, or a plan.  My parents (hi mom!) have been fantastic taking me in and all but it’s still hard when you just don’t feel…like yourself and you are confronted with a future that is unknown. But, I need to keep reminding myself that this was ultimately my choice. I set this all in motion. This amazing, life-changing opportunity. Now, I just have to keep moving forward and trust that it will all work out.

Luckily I don’t seem to be the only one going through this re-entry (???) process. Talking to other RPCV (Returned Peace Corps Volunteer is what this means) friends, we are all going through some kind of readjustment. It’s like a weird grieving process/trying to rebuild what was your life before you picked up and moved. But nothing is the same. You aren’t the same.

On a happier note, I have been able to reconnect with many of my old friends and enjoy the beauty of the Arizona desert (while also trying to stay cool – it’s already been an awful 100 degrees). I've taken lots of long runs and done some hikes (along with doing lots of sleeping in)!  :) I have decided that while Arizona is beautiful (I tried to share some of that beauty with a few hiking pictures), it may not be the place for me.  I am looking for jobs across the country (and the world) so am hoping to find my new home in the next few months. Wherever that may be and whatever I might be doing?  Stay tuned...