Back in the US of A.

I didn’t know if I would continue to blog after leaving South Africa. But here I am, still thinking about things I want to say. To share. So I guess until I run out of stories, I’ll keep writing. I actually don’t really know if anyone reads this but I also don’t know that it matters to me all that much.  I'll just keep posting anyway. :)

So I am back in America. Missing South Africa. Weird how that happens. I never thought I would have such a longing to be back there? To sleep in my little room with no running water. And take a taxi. Maybe eat some pap. And give my friends a hug. My first week back home was amazing. I was so happy to see everyone and it felt good to be back.  And of course the basic luxuries were really wonderful – long showers, being able to drive, ice machines, Starbucks, mindless TV whenever you want, iPhones (!)…and the “culture shock” that everyone had told me was going to be such a problem didn’t seem to be such a big deal? But then the second week came. And I started to feel funny. Sad. Lonely. Like I didn’t fit in? Is this what they were talking about?  It has also been harder since the initial “party week” ended because I don’t really have a place of my own, or a job, or my stuff, or a plan.  My parents (hi mom!) have been fantastic taking me in and all but it’s still hard when you just don’t feel…like yourself and you are confronted with a future that is unknown. But, I need to keep reminding myself that this was ultimately my choice. I set this all in motion. This amazing, life-changing opportunity. Now, I just have to keep moving forward and trust that it will all work out.

Luckily I don’t seem to be the only one going through this re-entry (???) process. Talking to other RPCV (Returned Peace Corps Volunteer is what this means) friends, we are all going through some kind of readjustment. It’s like a weird grieving process/trying to rebuild what was your life before you picked up and moved. But nothing is the same. You aren’t the same.

On a happier note, I have been able to reconnect with many of my old friends and enjoy the beauty of the Arizona desert (while also trying to stay cool – it’s already been an awful 100 degrees). I've taken lots of long runs and done some hikes (along with doing lots of sleeping in)!  :) I have decided that while Arizona is beautiful (I tried to share some of that beauty with a few hiking pictures), it may not be the place for me.  I am looking for jobs across the country (and the world) so am hoping to find my new home in the next few months. Wherever that may be and whatever I might be doing?  Stay tuned...

Halala.

One last vacation in South Africa. Halala (not quite sure of the spelling?) but this is a word that I learned during my time spent in the Eastern Cape. In Xhosa it means “celebration” and it seems you say it when you are expressing joy for something or someone. Or you are just generally happy. Well, halala…


After officially hanging up my hat as a Peace Corps Volunteer (spending a week in Pretoria having medical exams, meetings and finishing final reports), I was officially “sworn out” and am now what they call an RPCV (a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer). It was bittersweet. Too much emotion to write about now. Maybe later.

Instead, I will write about my lovely vacation in the Eastern Cape. I went with friend and fellow volunteer, Megan. We took an overnight bus to a town called Mmtatha and sat in the pouring rain for many hours waiting for a shuttle to pick us up and take us to the starting point of our hike in Port St. Johns. I’ve never seen so much rain. This did not bode well for an upcoming five day hike leaving in less than 12 hours. But we woke up the next day to sunny skies and left with our fantastic guide, Lloyd. He would be with us as we traversed ~60 kilometers over the next few days along the Wild Coast. We stayed in local villages with families in their rondavels, sleeping on the floor, taking bucket showers, and eating amazing Xhosa food. Although I’ve been in South Africa for a couple of years, the differences between where I stay and the area where we hiked were very distinct (language, people, land, homesteads) so I was glad I had the opportunity to visit this area. It’s truly spectacular (pictures to be posted soon). Due to the rain, we had lots of water to maneuver around. At some river crossings we were met by “ferry men” with small boats while at other river crossings we simply had to get wet (sometimes up to our chests). Overall, we were successful at staying dry (except for the one incident in a tipping kayak) and we made it to our destination in Coffee Bay where we played on the beach for a couple of days and ate some lovely ice cream and amazing pizza.

I then parted ways with Megan as she left to go meet friends and I headed to the mountains. I had heard/read about a quaint little town called Hogsback and was determined to get there before leaving South Africa. It was a bit of a logistical challenge with no car but I found my way with a couple of buses and shuttles. And it was definitely worth the effort. It was almost like being in Colorado again. I was a bit unprepared for the cold though and had to layer most of the clothes I had brought to keep warm (and stand incredibly close to the fire). But I took some beautiful hikes (with the most amazing waterfalls) and met some great people while hovering around the fire at night.

And now?! I am back in Joburg packing up my stuff getting ready to fly back to America. It feels quite strange. I am incredibly sad and anxious and happy all at once. South Africa has become my home for the last two years. I love so much about this place and it is going to be hard to say goodbye. But I suppose that wherever you go there you are.



Ugh, look at those ugly feet...



A Celebration.



My beautiful village. 

I feel so lucky.   I decided I wanted the opportunity to be able to say goodbye to everyone at my site all at once so a few weeks ago I discussed the idea of having a party at my house the day before I was going to leave my community.  A small goodbye party.  Piet, my host father, was gracious enough to say yes to having a bunch of kids (who like to listen to loud music) as well as all of my Phedisang Project friends and other community members over to the house for the afternoon.  The party planning turned into a bit of a fiasco which I won’t go into but in the end it all worked out (somehow it always does…)?  My interns came and gave a speech, the girls from Camp GLOW were also there (and helped decorate and serve food), the Phedisang staff helped cook food, the kids who I hang out with from the community all showed up, and many community members came out to say goodbye.   Oh, and of course a couple of my PCV friends were there as well.  It was a day that I will never forget.  The day was filled with food, dancing, laughing and, of course, many tears... 

I have a few pictures on some of my friends and family to share. 

Lasts.

This is a week of lasts for me here in Ga-Sekororo, South Africa. The last time I will take a taxi ride to Tzaneen to go shopping. The last time I will go for a run in my village. My last bucket bath (of course it has been pointed out to me that I could continue this tradition back in America…). The last time I will sit on my porch with my host father talking about my day. The last time I will go to the Phedisang centers. The last time I will go to the post office to get my mail. The last time I will hang out with my “kids” playing UNO or hiking or listening to music. The last time I will ever eat rice and beans (I hope). And maybe the last time I will see some of my friends here...

Who knows when I will come back to South Africa. I would like to? I’ve come to love this country. But since I can't say for sure, I will simply say goodbye to my South African family that I have come to love and hope that I can stay connected with them in some small way.

As I finish what started as a far-fetched dream to join the Peace Corps several years ago, it seems strange now to be finishing and going back to my life in America. What will I do? How will life be different? Or will it be the same? And, more importantly, what are my new dreams?  I can’t say for sure that I know what my future holds.  I only know that I will forever be changed by my time here. By the people I met, by the things that I saw, by the places that I’ve been. I feel very lucky to have had this time. Some people have asked if I would do it over and the answer is yes. I don’t have any regrets.

But, I am looking forward to coming home to see all my friends and family back home. I can’t wait to share a little bit of my experience with you and see what the future holds...after I do a bit of hiking in the Wild Coast that is...see you soon!

So many lasts.

This weekend I ran in my last marathon in South Africa (who knows if I will do more when I get to wherever I’m going).  Who would have imagined my two years in South Africa would include a couple half marathons and marathons...and then there was the insanity of that ultramarathon.   But, I decided it would be nice to do one last race.  And I am so glad I did...

I got to run with my amazing friend, Grace (I promised I would run with her the entire race).  It was her first marathon and she did a fantastic job!  She will go on to run in many more races, I'm sure (she is already analyzing her results).  Here's to many lasts...and to all of the many firsts still yet to come.      

My host father.

I imagined being placed with a family. A family that was overflowing with young kids that I could play with after work, who would teach me games, and give me hugs every day. A young mother with boundless energy would show me around the village. And, of course, there would also be a gogo living on the compound and she would share her wisdom (even though we could not speak the same language) – maybe she would be a traditional healer?! This would be my host family in South Africa. Doesn’t this sound grand? Well, this is what I thought I wanted. So, when I was told I would be living with a single man….a pensioner who was retired because of a disability?! I wasn’t very excited. This didn’t sound like my ideal South African family.

But then I met Piet. Mr. Piet Thuketane. And my perspective shifted (isn’t it strange how that happens sometimes)? Well, Piet has turned out to be my lifeline. On days that I thought I just couldn’t stand it one more second, I would seek guidance from Piet. He always had answers (granted, sometimes not to the questions I asked but it usually didn’t matter). Along with teaching me about life in South Africa and the people/places/traditions in my community he taught me so many other lessons. He taught me how to maintain my sense of humor. And how to appreciate being quiet and more observant. And how to be less judgmental. As I would walk home from work, I would look forward to my time sitting on the porch talking to Piet. He liked to know about my day. Then he would ask about my family and my friends. I think I told Piet more about my life than I have shared with some of my close friends? When I was going through a break-up…I confided in Piet. When I was frustrated about a project at work, I shared with Piet. When my sister had her baby, Piet was the first to know. And Piet remembered everything I told with him (it was sometimes shocking). And, oh, he loved having my fellow Peace Corps friends visit (like Ethan “the giant” and Megan “the scientist” and Ted “the china boy”!).

I feel lucky now I didn’t get the “perfect” host family. Because, instead, I met Piet. He is an amazing person. Right now, I can’t imagine saying goodbye to him (I am tearing up just writing this…). And, even though Piet will never see me (he lost his sight several years ago), he may know me better than anyone else. Thank you, Piet, for giving me not just a place to live for the last two years but making it my home.

It's Finished. Finally.

A year ago I helped to write a grant proposal which funded a new building for one of the centres I support. It’s been a year of ups and downs as this building has been constructed. From getting the land donated from the induna (who is like the chief of the village) to working with the local municipality to get the building plans approved and then finding all of the materials and supplies. Buildings and construction (especially in a rural South African village) was not something I had a lot of prior experience doing?! It’s been a long year. But the staff and volunteers did an amazing job of putting in the time and work needed to get the building completed. They were able to move in to the new centre last week which will provide 85 orphans and vulnerable children with meals and after school activities. The children that come to the center have little means for food or enrichment and are put at a disadvantage in pursuing future goals which is the purpose of having the center...and I’m so happy and excited it is ready for use!


We still have many cosmetic features that need to be completed (curtains, more office furniture, shelves, more toys and books would be nice along with much needed burglar bars for security) but I am really proud of the work and time everyone put in to get the building completed.